The World's Religions, in a nutshell
Taoism: Shit Happens
Hinduism: This shit has happened before
Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit happens”
Buddhism: It is only an illusion that shit happens
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah
Jehovah’s Witnesses: Knock, Knock, “Shit happens”
Atheism: There is no such thing as shit
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, and maybe not
Protestantism: Shit won’t happen if I work harder
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me?
Televangelism: Send money or shit will happen
Rastafarian: Smoke that shit
Angry copyright owners can yell at me here.
addendum: As a Muslim, methinks I should point out that even if shit doesn't happen, it is STILL the will of Allah...