Love without sight
Is it possible to grow to love someone not through her/his physical looks, not because of the voice, or the strength, or the daintiness, but through listening to the words spoken by her/him?
When there is a curtain between the two, when there is a distance between the two, when eyes see words, not face; when the hands weaves the words, not the mouth... can we grow to love someone that way?
Somehow, I think this is more beautiful way to start. It strips away from the judging person the superficial aspects that gets in the way, and goes straight to the heart, straight to the mind, and straight to the soul. We see not how winsome her looks are, but how charming her mannerism is. We hear not how sweet her voice is, but how eloquent her words are. We are not able to lust for her sexuality, but we can admire her clarity of thoughts.
(dammit so much for gender equality in writing, but what the heck, i'll dispose of political correctness for a while, and just speak my mind)
True, I would admit that this is not to say that physical traits are unimportant. In the quest for love, the paths of each individual can't forever be apart. When lives become intertwined, what comes straight to the eyes, to the ears, to the senses, rules our immediate judgment. If each party can't come to accept what the other physically is, despite loving what is inside, what is unseen, I don't think things will bide well for them.
I can see that we have two ways to begin the journey. One way is the classical western way: Love at First Sight, where looks is foremost before we notice the inner person. The other way is this Love Without Sight, where consciousness preceeds the manifestation. (Arranged marriage is another interesting possibility, but I won't address it for now).
If love hinges on certain traits that one have, then clearly the latter is at an advantage here. For a person is the same person inside, although appearance might change. Taut young skin shrivels into wrinkles of age. Strength of youth dwindles into frailty of old. Sharp senses at the prime blunts into dull sensations near the end. But the soul stays. More enriched, yes, more experienced, wiser to the world, but the same person nevertheless. And if this is what you come to love, then you had chosen to love something that is truly immortal.
When there is a curtain between the two, when there is a distance between the two, when eyes see words, not face; when the hands weaves the words, not the mouth... can we grow to love someone that way?
Somehow, I think this is more beautiful way to start. It strips away from the judging person the superficial aspects that gets in the way, and goes straight to the heart, straight to the mind, and straight to the soul. We see not how winsome her looks are, but how charming her mannerism is. We hear not how sweet her voice is, but how eloquent her words are. We are not able to lust for her sexuality, but we can admire her clarity of thoughts.
(dammit so much for gender equality in writing, but what the heck, i'll dispose of political correctness for a while, and just speak my mind)
True, I would admit that this is not to say that physical traits are unimportant. In the quest for love, the paths of each individual can't forever be apart. When lives become intertwined, what comes straight to the eyes, to the ears, to the senses, rules our immediate judgment. If each party can't come to accept what the other physically is, despite loving what is inside, what is unseen, I don't think things will bide well for them.
I can see that we have two ways to begin the journey. One way is the classical western way: Love at First Sight, where looks is foremost before we notice the inner person. The other way is this Love Without Sight, where consciousness preceeds the manifestation. (Arranged marriage is another interesting possibility, but I won't address it for now).
If love hinges on certain traits that one have, then clearly the latter is at an advantage here. For a person is the same person inside, although appearance might change. Taut young skin shrivels into wrinkles of age. Strength of youth dwindles into frailty of old. Sharp senses at the prime blunts into dull sensations near the end. But the soul stays. More enriched, yes, more experienced, wiser to the world, but the same person nevertheless. And if this is what you come to love, then you had chosen to love something that is truly immortal.
posted by haya_shiloh at 4/14/2005 09:05:00 AM
2 Comments:
its "pheromone" :)
Physical appearance and personality play important roles in the "falling in love" stage, which is just a small fraction of the journey. The most challenging part is "staying in love", which requires understanding, sacrifice, compromise, and cooperation.
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